My internal struggle for 麻辣香锅

7.35pm and I was in a dilemma between continuing for Hatha 2 and skipping it to get my cravings for 麻辣香锅 satisfied while watching Arrow.

My weak will saw me putting back the two blocks on the shelf and walking out of the studio when I saw the teacher sitting outside the room, and then I back tracked and sat down on my mat again..my guilt got the better of me.

I tried to reason with myself that going for one class was good enough for me after almost a month of not doing yoga. My muscles were protesting in pain and every stretch felt extremely tight and demoralizing. I needed to let my body slowly acclimatize to this again right? 

Excuses.

So true when they say that nobody regrets an exercise or in this case, an extra class of yoga (even if this class difficulty was beyond me).

I fumbled through all the poses and when it came to him telling us to do the crow, I automatically reached for the foam blocks to be placed in front of me so that I would be face smashing the blocks instead of the unforgiving hard floor if I fell. Just as I was about to lift myself, he came over and removed the blocks and I got down again.

"I need the blocks otherwise I'll fall on my face." I told him.

"What makes you think you will fall? Don't use the blocks. Show me."

And I did. 

My feet was off the ground for the longest time..longer than I ever thought achievable and despite not practicing for weeks.

I guess tonight's practice left a deeper impact on me than I had expected. I came to class with a sense of dread and exhaustion but left feeling light hearted and accomplished.

And I still got my Mala cravings settled - 2 x Kang Kong, 2 x Wombok and instant noodles in 大辣. What a lovely way to end Friday. 

Look at this beautiful mess.

Touched by Bangkok

I believe I will never ever get sick of Bangkok.

Our amazing B&B thanks to markong :)

Oh the delicious salted grilled fish...mmmmmm.

 What's Bangkok without squeezing in with the crowds?

 You don't count calories when you are in Thailand.

 Us trying to find our inner hipsters in Rod Fai.

 

YUM.

 

That's right.

#Alifetimeofgratitude

Two weeks ago, I let myself drink until I was almost wasted. I don't remember the last time I got drunk so this was a first time in a long time. The next day was a reminder of why I hardly drink anymore haha or at least not to that extent.

Drinking that day was different because I think it was the second time I was with A and being so almost completely gone while he was still completely sober (that makes him the more sensible one between us). It was different because despite being dead drunk, I was still subtly aware of how he took care of me, tucking me in to bed and pushing the hair out of my face and stroking my head as he waited till I slept before returning to games with his friends. I woke up the next day feeling like crap at my own behaviour and the hangover throbbing in my skull but feeling incredibly blessed at the same time, remembering A looking out for me and having my back even at times when I really don't deserve it.

This is just one of the many many things he has selflessly done for me and I'm trying to remember all of it.

It's not just #100daysofthingstobethankfulabout but #alifetimeofgratitude .

Amen

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