A ripple

You asked me why. I was silent but my mind was screaming at me to say something, to tell you what I felt, to say what's wrong. But I couldn't express myself, I couldn't tell you what was in my head. I wished I could, to save you the confusion and agony of being clueless but I really didn't know how to. You knew that I wasn't fine anyway, much as I said I was.

I really really wished in that instant you followed me out. I would have given almost anything to have you grab my arm, pull me back, hug me fiercely and that alone would have made me feel warm, safe and assured.

But you didn't. The train doors closed. I walked out of the station, feeling more alone than ever in a sea of strangers. And that short walk to the bus stop was heart-achingly long, cold and lonely as I fought against the involuntary urge to break down.