Anyway...on a heavier note (both literally and figuratively), I recently went to a clinic and had my weight taken. I was shocked beyond words, or maybe traumatized I don't know..sometimes extreme emotions make you react in ways you wouldn't expect and in my case, my initial reaction upon seeing the figure on the scales made me laugh out loud, to the surprise of the nurse recording my weight. It is with a heavy heart (ha) that I'm penning down my weight so that I'll do something about it. I must be extremely brave and insane to be announcing my weight here btw. I left Adelaide weighing about 45-46 kg and a year later, I'm now almost 51 kg. That's 5000g (this figure looks so much worse in grams......) that i've put on and I was really astonished to find out I could weigh THAT heavy.
Of course later on, the weight of the situation sunk in and my mood gradually got more and more sombre (to the point of depression) and I realized that i couldn't take things lightly anymore #punny Especially since I have never in my entire life seen the 5x digit while i'm on it..so that was quite a huge blow to me lol.
But seriously, who am i to kid right? I eat like a boy, wait no, I eat possibly as much or even more than some guys i know. I never really watch what I eat, I inhale whatever I fancy without counting the calories or even pausing to think about how much fat that roast pork or mcspicy patty contained or actually notice the time i'm consuming that piece of lard (which is usually in the wee hours of the night), I hardly ever exercised in Adelaide because the weather was too cold, too hot or too dry (in essence, bullshit excuses)..and now i'm suffering the repercussions of my laziness and greed.
Sigh it's also a little depressing to know that I actually bought several pieces of clothes online for CNY, naively thinking that I could fit an XS (in my defence, which I used to be able to) and receiving them and realizing how...fitting and sexy they look, that is, until i exhale and there goes my tummy tum tum exclaiming 'wheeeeee look at me!'. :(
Soooo, I'm gonna keep those clothes and make myself do whatever it takes to lose all the fat i've accumulated in the last 12 mths, even if that means cutting down on a lot of carbo..okay maybe i won't torture myself that much. I'm just gonna make sure i exercise twice as hard since I'm not exactly willing to give up my food.
Here's a promise to myself that by June (i'm being quite realistic ain't i?) I would have more or less returned to my previous self. And then, I can wear those pretty dresses without having to worry about that extra unnecessary burden of a bulge.
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